I'm BAAACCKKK.....

with a confession.....GASP!! Yes, I know I've been MIA for quite a while.....stuff going on....nothing going on....just "life" happening. But I'm not going to update or try to remember everything that happened since I last blogged...nope, my brain can't remember that far back. Let's just move on shall we? SOOO, I have once again started going to the gym. Here's my confession......I. HATE. IT. Every single morning, I try to talk myself out of going: I'm too tired, I'm sore, I have SOOO much to do, I just want to relax, I'll go tomorrow, I need a break...ect, ect...you get the picture. I hate everything about it. I hate sweating, I hate the pain (OH, the pain...lol), I hate walking back from the gym (and sometimes to the gym). I lied, there are SOME things that I like about going to the gym, but I think I could do these things just as well in the comfort of my home. I like listening to my music on my Ipod, I like de-stressing and having some "me" alone time where no one is asking me for anything. I like to be alone with my thoughts and clear my head. THAT I do like. BUUUUUT after all the procrastinating and complaining and dragging, once I get there....I'm kind of glad I'm there and when I'm done and walking home, I feel GOOD, I really feel good and I'm glad I went and I wonder why I tried so hard to get out of it. It's only an hour out of my morning and I go early, right after we drop the kids off at school. So I can still come home and get my stuff done and have the rest of the day free to do whatever I want until the kids come home. I've heard people talk about going to the gym and REALLY like it, LOVE it even. I wonder if I'll ever be one of those people.....maybe, but for right now I'm doing it because I NEED to. I need to get back in shape. Not just to fit back into some of my smaller clothes, but to just feel better about myself. Which I do already. I've been cutting back, watching what I eat and drinking TONS of water for two weeks now. This is only my 4th day back at the gym, but already I feel a HUGE difference in my body. I don't feel "yucky" in my middle, my clothes are already starting to fit better. Yesterday while running on the treadmill, I noticed that I had to keep picking up my pants because they were falling down! YAY!! I haven't weighed myself and I don't really want to or plan to because I don't want to be a slave to the numbers. I want to let my body speak for itself. I'll know what progress I've made by the way my clothes fit and the way my body feels and looks and really that matters more to me than a number on the scale. Since I've been back to the gym, I've been using a technique that my friend Kim from church told me about that's used I think for training for a 5K. I'm not planning on running a marathon or anything any time soon, but running is something I've always wanted to be able to do. Don't ask me why, I just do. So I've been doing this thing for 20 mins (some days a bit more) where I run 1 min/walk 1 min. The first day I was able to do 45 mins of that. The next day...not so much...lol I was SUPER sore...so that day I stuck to the 20 mins. Yesterday, I did 35 I think as well as today. It's getting a little easier and I am nowhere near as sore today as I was that first day....thank you God! But I'm not sure if I will be ready to move on to the next level next week which is running 2 mins and walking 1 minute ( I think) for 21 mins. I still kind of have a hard time towards the middle of it all with my breathing or feeling like I didn't catch my breath enough before it's time to start running again. I wonder if my allergies have anything to do with that? Mountain Cedar and other stuff has been blowing around and I've been blowing my nose like crazy! Anyway, I'll be taking the weekend off since the kids will be home and it's harder for me to get to the gym and to let my body rest for a couple of days. God willing, I'll be back at it on Monday. I'll try it out and see if I can handle going to the next level, if not, I might just stick to the first level for another week until I feel more comfortable with increasing the running time. Sooo, that's about it here on my end. Oh, tried brown rice per a friend's recommendation and it is YUMMY.....nice to not have to cut out everything yummy :)